With a total of 38 games (35 cabinets, one mobile game and two retro desktop games), Arcade Paradise is one of the most comprehensive retro game compilations on the market, and its unique take on classics such as Pac-Man and Grand Theft Auto are honestly good enough to stand on their own merit.
Single-player classics aside, multiple games allow a second player to join in the fun via split-screen multiplayer.
I would happily play a full-length version of Vostok 2093, as it’s brilliant and is everything I could want in a wave-based shooter.
Image credit Arcade Paradise - Published by Nosebleed Interactive and developed by Wired Productions.
I love games where you can grow a business and have been a fan of the genre since the early 90s; however, despite the developer’s best efforts to combine business management with a retro game compilation, they have failed to create a management mode that is worth playing.
While its a novelty to clean a toilet or pick up trash the first few times, I was expecting a less “hands-on” and more strategic way to manage my business, such as allowing me to invest in better washing machines and hire staff to keep the place running; instead, the laundrette mode consists of doing other peoples laundry by holding down one button and then waiting a few minutes and occasionally emptying the hopper.
It’s not just boring, it’s honestly terrible, and I quickly found myself avoiding the laundrette management aspect of the game as much as humanly possible.
Image credit Arcade Paradise - Published by Nosebleed Interactive and developed by Wired Productions.
Repairing arcade cabinets requires the player’s literal “hands-on” intervention, a task that quickly goes from being quirky fun to an outright nuisance.
For some reason, no customers appear to be “real”, and all disintegrate into pixels before vanishing entirely as you approach them; when I first saw this, I assumed it was a bug or a “ghost”, but as time went on, I see this was neither and was instead just an immersion-breaking design decision.
Image credit Arcade Paradise - Published by Nosebleed Interactive and developed by Wired Productions.
“I see, Pixel people?”
Considering a huge part of the game “management mode” requires fixing machines, picking up trash and emptying hoppers, You would think that the developers have ensured that each machine and element had a correctly displayed hitbox; unfortunately, that is not the case and as my arcade grew, I often had to approach certain cabinets 5-10 times to access the hopper or repair button correctly.
While this will likely be addressed in time, first impressions go a long way, and honestly, after struggling to empty hoppers for 8+ hours, I am done with Arcade Paradise for the foreseeable future.
Image credit Arcade Paradise - Published by Nosebleed Interactive and developed by Wired Productions.
I enjoy playing retro mini-games, and the developers have lovingly created a massive selection of amazing faux-retro titles; however, no matter how much fun a mini-game maybe, at times, you want to sit back and manage the business, unfortunately, that is not an option. Players who wish to progress will find themselves either farming achievements in less popular mini-games or doing nothing.
I understand the developers may not have wanted to make a fully fleshed-out management simulation, but requiring players to be present for the arcade to earn an income is crazy.
Arcades rarely have a single staff member, and allowing the player to hire and manage a team of staff would have made an unbearably slow experience far more enjoyable.
Allowing players to hire janitors, mechanics, cashiers and assistant managers and adding the ability to skip/fast forward time would make the wait to purchase new cabinets far more bearable, allowing players to enjoy their time with Arcade Paradise instead of resenting it.
Image credit Arcade Paradise - Published by Nosebleed Interactive and developed by Wired Productions.
Even this relatively cheap upgrade takes around 4 hours to farm efficiently if you do not want to sacrifice arcade profits.
Slowing progression by forcing players to farm multiple currencies is almost universally hated by gamers, especially when one currency is much harder to obtain than the other, resulting in an abundance of one currency, while players are forced to farm the other mindlessly.
Arcade Paradise falls into this trap by requiring players to farm a second currency (£) to purchase upgrades; while I am not opposed to paid upgrades, many of the to-do list items feel more like chores and force players to engage with a mini-game that they may not like, or maybe unable to complete due to physical limitation, with many mini-games requiring near-perfect hand-eye coordination, I worry for those who have reduced motor function and how well they would fair.
I have always hated Frogger and frogger clones and being forced to play a game I cannot stand to unlock much-needed quality-of-life upgrades is a poor experience, especially when it’s possible to be given the same To-Do list goal multiple times in a single session, such as when I was given four near-identical goals to play Attack Vector in just one hour.
To-Do list goals should focus on business goals, such as earning x dollars or serving y customers, and should not force players to play a certain game for a certain length of time or accomplish a certain in-game goal, such as scoring x amount of points or kill y enemies without dying, tasks which may prove impossible for those with reduced motor skills or impaired vision.
Image credit Arcade Paradise - Published by Nosebleed Interactive and developed by Wired Productions.
Nothing screams “business simulation,” like playing a knockoff of space invaders for 70% of the workday.
I encountered roughly four crashes/lockups that resulted in losing half a day of progress.
I fully admit this point will be contentious, but I found the way that Gerald’s children talked about him to be disrespectful; I fully understand not everyone has good parents, and Gerald is certainly not the ideal father, but framing an entire narrative about deceiving and disrespecting Gerald is a poor example for younger games, and I would feel uncomfortable allowing a younger child to play with it.
Jesus Christ instructed that his followers honour their parents, saying God commands that people honour their father and mother.
I understand some people have terrible parents who have done unspeakable things, but holding onto hate and unforgiveness only hurts you. While a healthy relationship may not currently or ever be possible with such people, you are still required to forgive, respect, and love them, even if you may not be in each other’s lives.
What Jesus Said About Loving Your Enemies.
What Jesus Said About Forgiveness.
Life is too short, and eternity is far too long to let the hatred of your parents (or anyone else) send you to hell.
Image credit Arcade Paradise - Published by Nosebleed Interactive and developed by Wired Productions.
Arcade Paradise takes around 15 hours to complete the main story; however, roughly half of this time will be spent “waiting around” for income to trickle in slowly.
I understand the developer is rightfully proud of their work, but a game is meant to be entertainment, and the player should have more control over how that entertainment plays out.
And honestly, I find being forced to either play mini-games or do nothing literally for almost 4 hours straight is horrendous game design and has no place in a title that sells itself as a retro arcade collection and a management simulation.
If the developers added a way to skip days or speed up time without losing income, the last 4 hours of the game would have been much more bearable; as it stands, as much as I enjoyed Arcade Paradise, I intend never to touch it again and will have trouble recommending it to others.
Image credit Arcade Paradise - Published by Nosebleed Interactive and developed by Wired Productions.
Arcade Paradise is a management video game developed by Wired Productions and published by Nosebleed Interactive, it was released on 11 August 2022 and retails for $19.99.
Arcade Paradise is available on the following platforms: Nintendo Switch, PC, Playstation 4, Playstation 5, Xbox One, and Xbox Series X|S.
On average Arcade Paradise takes between 15 and 35 hours to complete.
Estimated completion times are derived from various sources and may vary based on the skill level of each player.
The following peripherals are officially supported:
Arcade Paradise is rated PEGI 12+ and contains the following:
Arcade Paradise is a fantastic retro game compilation hindered by a woefully substandard management simulator. It makes it very difficult for me to recommend after having played the game through to its completion.
The game’s final hours are particularly bad; with even laundrette activities no longer being available, players have no choice but to play mini-games (that they likely already completed) or do nothing at all to pass the 3-4 hours it takes to raise the needed funds to purchase the last few arcade cabinets and building upgrades.
